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My Sister....

3/24/2014

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Today is my sister’s birthday. I want to write about her today because I feel her story should be shared. For family and friends who are concerned about the depth that I will be divulging, don’t worry. I’ll keep it clean and not dig too deep.

I have one sister and one half- brother. Yes, having a brother comes as a shock to most who know us. I don’t know much about my half-brother. We didn’t grow up together.  I am the eldest. Growing up my sister was the passive one. I was the aggressive one. We had no choice but to get along. After all, we were all we had. One day we hated each other and the next we’d kill for each other. We’ve gotten into fist fights and everything in high school. I don’t know how my mom survived those years without killing us. After high school, we both got married when we turned 18 and “grew up” instantly.

We’ve seen each other through our ups and downs in life. We have the most dysfunctional love hate relationship. We never grew up hugging or showing affection openly. It was an unspoken love. On the outside, we appear to hate each other, compete with each other almost. But really, it’s quite the opposite. All our lives it was always just my mom, my sister, and I. For many years, our husbands had to compete with the loyalty we had for each other. No matter how mad we would get or how bad our fights were, it only took one phone call for help.  We would drop everything we were doing to pick each other up.

My sister has endured a very trying marriage. She has and continues to work night and day to provide for her family (especially when her husband chose not to). She has survived a painful and agonizing marriage and divorce. The damage he has done to her confidence, her self-esteem, and her ability to fight is outright disgusting.  

Now, we learn that she has Lupus. What more can this world throw at her? Despite her illness, she continues to work long hours while caring for her three kids the best way she can. She has her strong moments where she puts her foot down and stands up for herself. When that happens, we capitalize on it because we know she will get tired and stop fighting.  I cannot help but wonder if the years of stress have eaten away at her immune system thus causing the lupus to strike? Could this have been avoided? Or was she always walking around with it in her system just waiting to emerge its ugly head?  The big question, why her, and not me? Of all people in my family, why not ME? I’m stronger than she is. I have a husband who will support me through it all.  I am not struggling financially. And most importantly, I have my faith to rely on.

As painful as the lupus is for her, she continues to work every day (she has 2 jobs), tends to her kids, and maintains her household.  She has been told that she will need to start chemotherapy.  She is going to need support more than ever when that starts. The reason I’m blogging about her is because displaying affection is not one of my strong points. I write better than I speak. I am able to get my thoughts out better on paper then I can directly in front of someone. I get overwhelmed with emotion.

People who know me probably think I’m mean, strict, and harsh. It’s because I have so much love inside of me that when I exhibit it, it doesn’t come out in trickles. It’s like a broken fire hydrant erupting in the middle of the street.   I’m not one to say I love you often. But those who know me, know I love them. I don’t have to say it.  I don’t throw those three words around without deep sincerity. A lot of people I know have a very easy time saying it. I don’t.  Perhaps it’s because it exposes a sensitive side of me? I often mistake sensitivity for vulnerability and weakness. When really, its strength.

In my life, I’ve dealt with the loss of a cousin and my dad early in life. They both died suddenly with no warning. It was from those experiences that I have learned to enjoy every day. Be thankful you wake up every morning. And never take your life for granted because you could be gone in the blink of an eye. I may not verbally say I love you but I try my best to show it (in my own very odd ways).

My sister’s birthday was utterly destroyed years ago. Hopefully, now that she has closed that chapter of her life, she can now move forward and enjoy her birthday for years to come. 

Happy Birthday Jood.
Love,
Ter

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How many hats?

3/21/2014

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I have been extremely busy the past few weeks dealing with travel planning. Not only did I manage to use up all our 2014 timeshare points, I managed to use up almost all of our 2013 points that were set to expire this October. This means the Oly's are jetsetting this year. We haven't done that in 7 years. The last time we did this, we took the kids to Disneyland, Maui, Kauai, and the Big Island all in the same year.

This year what we have planned is Seattle, San Francisco, Gilroy, Napa and other areas of Northern California. We will also be visiting Kauai, Lanai, Las Vegas, Southern California, and Arizona. Yes, it's going to be a wild ride this year and I look forward to it. Now, for those of you in those areas, you're probably squealing with excitement to want to see us, RIGHT? Well, if you are, please send me an email and I'll see what we can do to make that happen. 

For those of you who know me or have been following my blogs, I am an itinerary packer. I fill every minute with activities, sites, restaurants, tours, etc. I hate to waste a minute! And sometimes, I'll be nice and shove a bathroom break or two in the plans. LOL.  With that said, unless you contact me asap, it'll be really hard for me squeeze in time to be with you if I don't hear from you soon. I won't be posting the nitty gritty details to each trip. That will come as we go on each adventure. 

I have secured all the hotels, car rentals, tours, and sites already. It's just a matter of the right timing before I book the actual flights. Yes, I do it backwards. Most people like to book the air first. Either way you rock it, it's always a "what comes first? the chicken or the egg game" when it comes to travel.  I've learned that at about 6-7 weeks out from the actual vacation is the USUALLY (I stress usually) the best time to book the airfare. So, I'll be patient and wait to book our annual October family vacation. It's killing me though. It's like watching the stock market. LOL

Now, why the "how many hats" title? I wasn't sure how I was going to burn up our 2013 points. So, I put it out and offered it to friends and family who were traveling. It didn't turn out to well. In the meantime, I managed to score a very nice condo in Princeville, Kauai. It's an expensive part of the island and a place that I've ALWAYS wanted to stay since my early 20's when I used to work in travel. It's a ritzy town and somewhere I always felt awkward being in. But, now's our turn to "feel rich".  That solved our problem with using our points. 

Someone messaged me and asked, "Are you a travel agent too?" I laughed. I'm not. I used to work in a travel agency and the knowledge I picked up from that job is what groomed me to be able to book travel and fill itineraries easier than most. I also do taxes. I file my own and file for friends. For the ones I do for friends, it has be very simple cut and dry tax filing. I don't want to be responsible for any possible errors for anyone's taxes but my own. If you have no businesses and few deductions, its a piece of cake. 

So, you can add travel agent and tax preparer to my repertoire. Now, you know a little more about me :)
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Travel & Timeshares = Family time

3/18/2014

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We bought our first timeshare in Las Vegas in 2002. We got suckered into it. Young, with no money, we were enticed with a free show to go and listen to what they had to say. Well, we signed and felt great about owning our first “property” in sin city, directly behind the Flamingo. A two bedroom timeshare. Not knowing what we got into, or even having the ability to take full week long vacations at the time, we did not utilize our timeshare for years after our purchase. I was financially frustrated and kicking myself for allowing us to fall into their trap.

In the meantime, the property was going bankrupt and I was even more upset at what we had done. Finally in 2007 we went on a mini vacation. We were offered a free 4 night stay at the property as owners to get updated on what was happening.  Being newbies to traveling we were stoked with the condo. We had a “house” in vegas.  Having a full kitchen, bathroom, and balcony was awesome. We felt so blessed and privileged. No one else our age owned timeshares. Our room was right under the monorail and we got a key that took us straight up to it. It was a little shady at night, but we were directly behind the Flamingo. Sweet!

In the owner update meeting we learned that our property was being bought out by Harrah's and they were upgrading the entire resort. We were now going to be a RCI gold crown resort. They were putting in millions of dollars per unit in upgrades. Corian counter tops, plasma tv’s, washer and dryers in every room, etc.  We got to tour model units that were set up EXACTLY the way the condos were going to be.

We were excited. Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea after all? Well, then we were told, we needed to convert our timeshare from weekly deposits to RCI’s point system. To do that, it would cost money. We could pay a conversion fee OR we could buy a studio unit for $XX and it would INCLUDE the conversion fee with it. Mind you, the conversion fee was nearly the price of a used vehicle!  The price that included a unit was manageable and when the renovations take place, they will NOT build studios. That means we pay a studio price but automatically get upgraded to a 1 bedroom unit. So, again, SUCKAS!! We signed the dotted line. Now, we own TWO timeshares. We convert to the point system. And now we can use our points to book air, car, cruises, etc via RCI.  Great.  Awesome. Now, when do I find time to travel? We didn’t.

A few years later, we are asked AGAIN to come up. I believe this was in 2009. They offer the same free weekend stay at the new and updated property. When we get there, we’re completely blown away. We now realize the original unit we stayed in years before was a complete DUMP! The newly renovated property was GORGEOUS.  Although it was moved one block behind the Flamingo, the place was still amazing. The rooms were fabulous. We brought my mom, sister and (now)ex- brother in law in tow. We were so happy. It now truly felt like a home away from home. Again, we sit through an owners update meeting (required), and they try to sell us another unit. NOPE! No way. Walked out. Thank you!

We tried our best to do a Vegas trip every year and it didn’t really happen.  That means for the years in between, we were literally losing money in point value by not taking a trip.  In 2012, we used our zillions of points to book two 2 bedroom units at the Grandview. This time we weren’t staying at our home resort. We wanted to be closer to our friends and the location was right next door to South Point. We went with my family (myself, husband, and three kids), Mother and father in law, sister and brother in law and son. Yes, we all went. We stayed in two units side by side.  Because we were using our ownership points, we paid NOTHING for the units.

Of all the trips we’ve taken, this was by far the best one. Each bedroom had a Jacuzzi tub. That’s right, each ROOM. The kids used it as a huge bubble bath. It was great to relax in it after long days of training. I flew straight there from work in Minneapolis and was exhausted!  My inlaws cooked breakfast every morning. We got ready for the day and we head out all over town. It was so much fun.  You wanna talk vacation. It was so relaxing to come home to a “house” where you could bake a cake if you wanted to or lounge on the couch and watch tv all day.

 It was my husbands class reunion which was the main reason for the trip. We had a great time. The weather was perfect and it was from this trip that we made the decision to travel every month in October to Vegas.

Why Vegas? For one, we own there. Two, our friends are there. Three, it’s cheapest to fly there and just drive to other places. Eventually when our youngest gets older, we’ll do ski trips and such. For right now, we enjoy seeing our friends every year.

In 2013, we went back to Vegas with just my two daughters. My son had to stay back for school. College life. While there this time, we had to attend an owners update meeting because we were staying in our home resort. It’s always required. In this meeting, they tell us they were once again bought out. This time, by Holiday Inn Vacations Club. SIGH…………..So yes, you got it. We once again were told we had to convert our points from RCI to Holiday Inn. Well, we “didn’t” have to per say. But, if we didn’t we’d be throwing away a TON of points by not converting.  Now, before we even head out to these meetings, my husband and I both agree, we are NOT getting duped again. This time, I came prepared with paper, pen, and a calculator. The sales guy tried to get us to buy another 1 bedroom unit. NO WAY. I flat out told him that if all we need to do is convert, what’s the conversion fee? I’ll pay THAT. I’m not buying another damn unit! After hours of back and forth discussions, he finally comes back with a deal. We buy a “studio” unit and pay $XX and the conversion is included. There are NO studio units in the resort. It was just a way to “label” the documentation to make it legit if you ask me. The bonus part of it all, is we now get even MORE points added to our bank to use for trips without a large loan and owning another 1 or 2 bedroom unit.  We agree and now we’re banging our heads on the table cause we just snagged ourselves another loan. Small,  but still. We had to. If not, we may as well throw all our years of ownership in the trash. On top of that, Holiday Inn membership includes RCI under their wing so my annual fee includes both IHG properties AND RCI. Bonus.

 I’m going on another business trip next month. I’m including a week of vacation on top of that. I call Holiday Inn to use my points for the very first time. It was a piece of cake compared to using RCI. So on top of seeing Seattle, I’m going to San Francisco. It is NOW that all our timeshares are paid off that the benefits of owning are meaningful. Because we own 3 units, we have a lot of points to burn every year. I used my points to book a nice hotel at the wharf. Yep,  pretty snazzy. I used the points to secure a car rental for the week.  We’re going on a paid day tour of SFO and Alcatraz. We’re hitting up a ton of places in the surrounding area including Napa. You know what my out of pocket cost is for the air, hotel, car, tours, etc for two people is? $1300 That’s a 8 day trip for two people hitting up TWO cities.

Now, because I was booking my arrangements for April, the agent told me to hurry and secure my timeshare for October. The window was open for the public to book the units so the 2 bedrooms were going fast. So, I did. I am now working on our family itinerary for our annual Vegas/Cali vacation. So far, I’ve secured our 2 bedroom timeshare for 9 days, a car rental for the length of our stay, and a hotel for 3 nights and 4 days in Anaheim. You want to know how much I paid out of pocket so far?  $237.

Now, pick your jaw up off the floor. I still need to secure airfare and the Disney hopper passes. But guess what? I’m going to use points for airfare and pick up the hoppers on post. I can tell you right now that we’ll probably be spending about $3500 for our entire 9 day vacation for this family of five.

FINALLY! We can enjoy the fruits of our labor! All those years of kicking rocks and making monthly payments is now gone. I can honestly tell you today, that we are PROUD owners of timeshares. What we once thought was a waste, is now a blessing. We were even at the point of selling it. I’m glad we didn’t.

Owning a timeshare forces you to take a vacation every year and we love it! What I love the most so far with Holiday Inn Vacations is the properties we can stay at are all BEAUTIFUL. No dives. And because there are so many, we can honestly go wherever we want without worrying about where we’re going to lay our heads at night. It’s a wonderful feeling!
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Pearl Harbor Commissary trip

3/15/2014

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No pictures again. When I got home I was too tired to stage the goods and snap a picture. What a week! 

My plan was to go to the commissary to pick up a few things I knew would be hot priced stuff and do the price matching at the NEX. So, this was not a complete household shopping trip. I was doing simple quick shopping and pulling recon so I could note prices on items since the commissaries don't have sales ads.

Morton Salt $1.14 no coupon

5 boxes of pot sized golden grain pasta. 1 lb boxes. $0.89. Used $0.75/1 mq from the paper. = $0.14 each

6 - 2 lb bags of hinode long grain white rice $1.49. Used 2 - $1/1 mq and 4 $0.75/1 mq's from coupons.com = $0.49 x 2 bags and $0.74 x 4 bags

12 cans Iams wet dog food $1.12. Used $2/3 mq from coupons.com = $0.45 each

20 cans Pedigree wet dog food $0.69. Used B2G1 mq from coupons.com = $0.52 each

1 Kaytee bird seed $1.98 = moneymaker! used $3/1 mq from coupons.com 

4.49 lbs of Ambrosia apples $0.89/lb = $4

Total before coupons $50.14

I paid $25.79

Pretty good deal! Yes, I already bought 32 cans of pedigree dog food already at target. But we go through 
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NEX Shopping Trip 

3/14/2014

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With the hot deal on All laundry detergent at Safeway, I decided to go to the Pearl Harbor Navy Exchange and take advantage of their price matching policy. Unfortunately, for this big haul, I don't have pictures. Majority of the goods went home with my mom. But here's a list of what we picked up. The prices I'm listing below are the "clean cut" prices. We also utilized the scratch card and got an additional 5% off PLUS we got bag credits for bringing our own bags.

6 bottles of 100 oz All laundry detergent. We got 2 bottles for $3.40 and 4 bottles for $4 each. I took Safeway's ad and price matched it, and then applied $3/2 and $2/2 coupons.

5 bottles (total) of Vidal Sassoon Shampoo and conditioners. $2.19, used $2/1 mq's and paid $0.19 per bottle

16 bottles (total) of V05 shampoos and conditioners. $0.75, used $1/4 mq's and paid $0.50 each

4 bottles of Dawn 14 oz dish soap. $1.89. Used $.25/2 mq and paid $1.64 each

Aquafresh toothbrushes twin packs. Clearance $0.64 each. No coupon. 

My mom splurged and got paul mitchell's skinny serum $16. gasp! no coupon!!

The always liners were bought at the commissary and I can't remember what she paid for them. But she did use 2 $0.50/1 mq's from the sunday paper :)

We rang these up in separate transactions due to the coupon limits as well as the NEX limit that was posted on the shelf. Limit is 10 items/coupons per customer per product.

Total cost before coupons, scratch card savings, and bag credits $87.02.

We paid $59.30. Now, my mom and sister are stocked up on laundry detergent and we're good with shampoo and conditioner until the next sale. After paying $0.50 for shampoo, it's VERY difficult to pay anything for it again. I see people snagging shampoo on sale for $2 and I cringe. For me, that price is too high. :)

Happy Friday! 
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This is just a portion of what we picked up tonight. I have the other 9 bottles of shampoo.
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Target Shopping Trip 3/9/14

3/9/2014

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This sale came at the perfect time. My dogs need food. I applied and got a Target Red card specifically so I can get 5% off my entire purchase. The bill will get paid off as soon as the amount posts. So, I don't care what the APR is. Cost breakdown below is before taxes.

Here's what I got:

Oscar Mayer Protein Packs reg $1.89 = $0.18 each used 50% off cartwheel plus $0.75 printable MQ, plus red card 5%.

Pedigree wet dog food $0.72 each = $0.51 each used B2G1 printable Q plus red card 5% savings

Pedigree dry dog food $11.99 each = $10.44 each. used $1/1 printable Q plus red card savings

Pedigree dog treats $3.39 each = $0.84 each. $2/1 target sale wyb 1 dog food per ad. plus $1/2 printable MQ plus red card savings

Up and Up diapers newborn packs $6.99 each = $1.79 each
Up and up diapers size 3 box $26.99 = $19.94
I used $15 off $40 of up and up product (target mobile or q in ad) plus 5% off cartwheel plus 5% off using red card. If I split the value between the 3 items, it was like getting $5 off each one.

Wheat bread $2.45 = $2.24 used cartwheel savings plus red card savings.

I also brought my own bags and got bag credits. $0.05 per bag.

Total before coupons, cartwheel and red card savings (tax included) $216.91

My out of pocket total = $145.32

That is a 33% savings. 

I am now stocked up on dog food for the 2 rottweilers and our lhasa apso. They have enough treats to last them 2 months at least and I now have more diapers to add to our stock that we got at $0.14 a diaper. I picked up 2 newborn packs to put in my donation for giveaways at the Healthy and Hapai event next week saturday.

The pedigree wet food was cheaper than the current sale at longs for 99 cents a can.

As long as you use credit wisely (pay off before month end), it works to your benefit. If you use it with no intent to pay it off in 30 days, I don't recommend it. Because the savings won't mean anything if you carry a balance on the card.

With sales like this for things I need, Target could quickly become my favorite store to shop at. It's out of the way for me to shop there so the savings have to be hot for me to make the drive out.
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Online Resources for Bullying. For parents and educators.

3/6/2014

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I wanted to share different online resources for those looking for more information and assistance with what they can do to help understand, stop, and prevent bullying.  All links open in a new tab.

Stop Bullying

That's Not Cool

Ad Council

Teaching Tolerance

National PTA - Bullying prevention (including Parent tip sheet)

Internet Safety

Cyberbullying Toolkit for Educators

Cyberbullying and Substance Abuse

Protecting your childs identity (esp when traveling)

In regards to internet use, social media, and cyberbullying, if your child is active on the net, and you aren't. Get with it! Get on the computer and take the time to learn about social media sites and see what your kids are doing. Not just what they are doing, but what they are SHARING. Take the initiative to understand how they communicate today. Times have changed so drastically that we need to get more involved instead of turning a blind eye to the youth of today.

Besides, having a facebook, instagram, twitter, and vine, just might bring you and your kids closer.

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Bullying - not just for kids

3/5/2014

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I had the opportunity to participate in a Bullying and Violence Prevention Workshop today hosted by the Hawaii Youth Services Network. It was long day filled with tons of information that involved a lot of role playing and activities. We had a large group that started off very quiet and by the end of the day we all had little bonds and connections. It was an awesome experience.

One of the things that was really moving about this workshop was the opportunity to see things through other peoples eyes. My kids. The issues and topics we discussed was relatable to every single person in the room. Whether it be direct or indirect, every person had a strong connection to the topics that came up. 

Communication and education is obviously something that needs to happen to improve situations. But the first step in getting this problem lessened is AWARENESS. How many parents are aware that their kids are bullies? Victims?  Why? Often times we deal with the surface issues and reactions. Counselors have such a heavy workload that they don't have time to counsel every kid to get to the bone of the problem. So, they put a band aid on it and move on to the next problem.

Not only did we learn how to strategize how to handle bullying situations, we learned how to communicate effectively. We learned how to diffuse a situation and how to approach and react to them. 

We did an exercise where someone was rattled. Stressed and undergoing some issues. Then three other "actors" gave three different responses to that person. We had to choose which one was the best way to react to their situation.  One of the "not so positive" ways to respond was to tell that person to calm down. Not the most empathetic choice of words to use on someone who is frazzled, stressed, or about to have a nervous breakdown. In fact, this just provokes that person to go off the deep end in some cases. The funny part of it is, most people use these words all the time without realizing the effect it has. Awareness...

Although this workshop was driven to help facilitate bullying prevention and workshops with kids, a lot of what we saw and learned are applicable to adults in the workplace. When we started to touch on that topic, it made me think about where I work and how the dynamics are in my surroundings. It was eye opening. A lot of adults do the same exact things kids do without realizing it. Awareness....

I didn't expect to get emotional AT ALL at this workshop. I just wanted to learn something new that I could take with me to implement not only in my own home but to be able to take this out into my community and share with them. Raise awareness of bullying. Help do my part to stop this from continuing. I know we can't save the world. But we can make a difference. One child and one family at a time. 

At the end, we did another exercise that was pretty deep. I had no idea this was coming. And quite honestly, I was afraid to open myself up to release this "darkness" that has dimmed my inner light. But, to release that and let it go was empowering. It's funny how by simply saying something out loud, letting it go, and getting it off your shoulders/chest, makes a huge difference in your awareness of yourself. The room was dark and not very many people shared during this exercise. BUT, you could feel it in the room. Every single person was releasing the negativity from within. They didn't have to say one word. But, I know we could all feel it. It was very emotional. Some cried and I have to admit it was at that point that I thought I was going to break and just turn into this busted spigot without kleenex handy. But I managed to keep it together.

By the very end of the workshop, I couldn't hold it in and yes, I cried. It was just so amazing to be sitting in a room of 30+ people with the same goal. The same mission to make a change in this world. Do one small thing to help make our world a better place. Just knowing that all these people are supporting each other was a very overwhelming feeling. I hope more people will be ready and willing to stand up and take back their communities and neighborhoods. Have pride in themselves and their communities to want to make a difference. This world is crumbling every single day. We need to work together to piece it back together so we can bring our sense of community back. I'm so ready to do this and I hope that you are all too!
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Female Problems and Essential Oils

3/4/2014

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Due to compliance issues, this post has been deleted. If you would like to know how I use essential oils to address my health concerns, please email me at olipasinc@gmail.com.

Thank you,
Maria
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