When you think of death, what comes to mind? I'm asking about the perspective of financial burden. None right? Cause you're dead. You no longer have any burdens. But, you're leaving it to your kin. Dealing with the grief, especially if the death is sudden and unexpected, is extremely difficult. Now, imagine having to deal through the grief and plan the services on top of that?
My location of choice is the Valley of the Temple Memorial Park. I'd much rather be in Mililani where I'm closer to my family; however, who knows where my family will be when that time comes? I like Valley of the Temple. Just something about that side of the island makes me zen. Probably all the wet green grass.
At their site, they offer a pre-planning tool which was extremely helpful with the process. They hold that information in their records. Answering the questions had me teary eyed just imagining what it would look, sound, and feel like at my funeral. They ask you the simplest questions that you probably wouldn't even consider when its time to plan a funeral.
-What kind of music do you want played at your service?
-What kind of food would you like served?
-Do you have a theme you want for your service?
-Any special requests?
Those were just some of the questions on the survey. The one that really got me choked up was leaving a message, passage, or words of hope to be read at the service. I'm not going to lie. I literally cried as I wrote it out. It was very difficult as I imagined one of my kids reading this as I lay there in my casket in front of my surviving friends and family. Damn this PMS. I'm crying again just thinking about it. I wanted to be sure that my message was "me" and not just some passages from the bible. I wrote down words that would make everyone in the room not only smile and feel me with them. But leave knowing I am OK and they can leave my services feeling uplifted.
Financially, most people think life insurance will cover the funeral costs. Well, technically yes. AFTER, you get the money. Can you say red tape? You have to come up with the funds at the time of death to get the ball rolling on the services. Did you know, an average cost of a funeral is between 20 and 30 thousand dollars? That's for the plot, casket, and services. $20K being the most basic (pine box). I'll let you chew on those numbers.
Personally, after going through this a few times in my life, I do not want to put my husband and/or my kids through the stress of planning my funeral or worrying about where they're going to find $30,000 from. (Yes, I'm going to upgrade, lol) I have done all the work and am now ready to take the "plunge" so to speak. When my time comes, I can go in peace knowing I have tied my loose ends and my family will be ok.
I only have one more wish after all is said and done. Someone please digitize my grave site after my headstone has been placed. Please list me on the find a grave website and link me to my dad and my grandma. Eventually, the ground will sink, my headstone will crumble, and what's left of my memory will disappear from sight.
I want to be memorialized forever. So my kids kids kids kids kids kids kids will always know who I am and I can be visited anytime from anyplace, virtually.